In Case You were Wondering

I have never ever missed someone as badly as I miss Jaxson. I would always tell him, "Mommy loves you so so much." But with him being physically gone, I have realized that I love him much much more than I could ever imagine. January 13th will forever be a day that's etched in my [...]

13 Hours

Jax has had 2 major surgeries prior to this one but this one was different. We made it to the hospital around 1:30am Thursday September, 20th. Jax was able to eat, and drink until 5am. He also went and had an x-ray done as well as blood work. After 5am he wasn't allowed to have [...]

Im on a Diet or Whateva

About 2 weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to make a change. Timehop ( Facebook posts, images that often time remind you of how responsible you were) kept popping up reminding me how much smaller I was and unfortunately, that kinda got me down. I didn't want to do a fad diet but do [...]

Keep On Keepin On

For a split second, I began to think,"How am I 30 years old in this position, I wish I had ( insert numerous things if my circumstances were different)." But it was literally for a second until I reminded myself " Don't start, You are doing a damn good job with what you have and [...]

Dear CHD 💔

Waking up to see your eyes swollen like this hurts my heart. CHD I wish you never existed. Why did you choose my son... or any child? CHD you've forced me to learn things and go through moments I would not wish on anyone. Swollen eyes = Fluid retention , which = poor heart function [...]

Routine

When people ask me how I manage my days my response is usually, "I Do Not Know." That is just the honest truth. For some sad people they think that I just stay at home all day with Jax and we have a grand ole time. That I haven't made any progress. How naive of [...]

Day 800

In the past 800 days I've seen you go through 2 Picc line surgeries , 3 Broviac placements 16 broviac repairs and 2 biopsies. You've graduated from physical therapy, started kindergarten( at home), went from not knowing your colors and pronouncing words incorrectly to knowing how to count to 10 in Spanish and starting to [...]