November 17,2015🦋

Screenshot_20171117-083630Novemember of 2015  was a very hard month for me. Really,  it was a hard month for my son.  It really was one day he was fine and the next he is on dialysis, his blood is being taken out of his body then brought back in through tubes that are coming  out of the side of his neck. Thinking about it now, I don’t know how I didn’t lose my mind or eveb function. Jax became so skinny because he wasn’t allowed to eat. It was so similar to when  he first went into heart failure in 2012. If I would have hesitated,  waited a few days to bring him in or demand blood work, I would not  have him here. I cannot imagine life with out this crazy child of mine. I Cannot! November of 2015 , Jax and I lived in Texarkana. November  5th, I went to work that morning at Fujis  and that night I was driving to Dallas with a bag of clothes with Jax and my dad to get him to Dallas Children’s Medical Center. I left my job, my apartment, my belongings as well as Jaxson’s. It was soo hard for to have  my own and then have to depend on people. On top of that, I was going through a divorce that I never thought in a million years would happen. I was scared, angry, hurt and everything else.  Now,  if I had to do it all over minus Jax scaring me half to death and being hooked up so so many scary looking things, I definitely would.   Over the years I have  strengthened my faith, learned that people will betray you, dissapear, become silent,  stand up for you,encourage you and  even try to make you feel less than. I can say that at first it hurt seeing people turn on you and be hateful for NO REASON. All in all I’m glad, I’m glad that I was shown their  true colors. I’m stronger  than I  ever was , I know who I am and what I will or will not accept for someone.  I also have the strongest little boy in my opinion. He has had a few major setbacks  but he’s catching up . Instead of being able to go to school he knew how to take 15 medications and connect his G-tube  or Mickey Button ( inserted in his abdomen and allows liquids/nutrients to go straight  to his tummy). Jaxson ,sadly  is used to getting shots twice a day , drinks water  out of syringes  and thinks his bag of milrinone is the norm. No matter what it may be, I will go and get through it for my sweet pea! Just a Mother’s Love I guess!  If any of you know Jax , you know he is a ball of fire and does not look like what he’s been through! We will keep fighting through this journey .  Until Next time! Be kind to  one another.

Kandiss🌻

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