If you are anything like me.. well anything like most mother’s, then You almost always come last and everyone else is first. The two things I really do first is waking up and brushing my teeth before Jax lol. He eats first, gets dressed first and everything else and then I half -a$$ get myself together. That usually consists of me forgetting things and having to come in and out of my apartment when I remember. I can tell you about Jaxson’s meds, social, vitals, how many broviac repairs , and etc but when asked what my birthday was , I blurted out his 😂. He’s my child I love him, I want him healthy,happy and everything above that. But what I’ve learned (and it was the hard way) is that in order to take care of him like I want, I also need to take care of myself. You know stuff like sleeping, remembering to eat( I do that often), going to get a pedicure, buying unnecessary things at Target. I had to start doing things like because I was lost. Almost like a robot. Same routine which entailed forgetting about me. It is okay to put yourself first, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child, friends or whomever. You have to breathe, relax , give yourself a pep talk.. just do whatever you need to get YOU back. I was so so so so stressed and depressed at one point. I could not even tell you why I was crying. I recall within an hour being happy, sad, angry and then blank. I was on E. Mentally drained. I would let irrelevant people’s actions and words affect me. I would question myself “Could I be a better Mom ?”, “Will anyone ever want me?”, “Am I Smart enough?”. The answers to those questions now are hell no I can not be a better Mom because you can not get better than Me, I’m beautiful inside and out , of course the right man will come my way and want me and yes you better believe I am Smart! It took a dark moment in my life to finally make me SELFISH. I do have some days where it gets tough but I don’t let it overshadow all of the progress that I have made! Just Love yourself the best that you can and it makes a whole world of a difference. Also .. don’t be afraid to seek help. Depression and anxiety are no joke. It is hard, especially when you feel alone and like nobody understands. You are wrong, I understand and others do too. Also there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. Sometimes, everyone has bad,crazy,sad thoughts and feelings , it just effects others differently. Some choose to speak about it and some don’t . It took me a while but I am glad I did because talking to the right person , believing more and being the right dose of an antidepressant has really helped me. So Be Selfish my friends It is okay! Until Next time Be kind to each other.